I feel like I’ve backed myself into a corner. I feel like I’ve created a monster, wherein I casually debate hot-button or controversial issues on this blog, and thus people are expecting me to feed that monster. Truth be told, I don’t want to feed it. I want it to slither back into it’s cave and leave me alone.

But it’s not going anywhere.

I’ve debated in my mind over and over again about how, and if, I should address the issue of homosexuality and gay-marriage on this blog. I’ve had people write me and ask that I do. I have friends, whom I love, that daily struggle with this issue in personal and profound ways.

My knee-jerk reaction has been to write a divisive, controversial, button-pushing post on the subject, clearly articulating my views, and simultaneously pulverizing the opposition. I felt certain that if I did, it would cause a ruckus, but I felt ready for that response…or so I thought.

Thankfully, in the midst of feeling the need to respond to this news article, or that court decision, this legislative act, or that blog post, I stopped and did the one thing that always makes things clear… Read More

It’s inevitable–we’re all going to die. There, I said it. And now that I’ve started off this post on a happy note…

Since we know we’re going to die, then it goes without saying, we will assuredly stand before God in that lovely little thing called Judgement.

Now, I’m not heaven-minded. I don’t tend to have what they call an “eternal perspective.” I’m pretty much a today-is-the-day-kind- of-girl. But I know that much of what consumes me, what consumes us ad nauseam, is not what the Lord is consumed with. He is consumed with love. Heck, He is an all consuming fire (Hebrew 12:29).

Yet, when we consider these things, and I mean really consider them, perhaps we would think of Judgement a bit differently. When we are standing before God and we are asked to give an account of our life, what will He ask us? I doubt He will pose many questions regarding the things we find so pressing today.

Now, I’m not entirely sure. I’m just taking a guess here, but I’m pretty sure…

God will not ask you…Continue Reading

Today, I’m happy to have a guest post for you all from one of my favorite gentleman in the blogosphere, Darrell Vesterfelt. Darrell has appeared on Modern Reject before and I’m so excited to have him back. Enjoy.

I’m really insecure about my weight. I have been my whole life.

There are all kinds of reasons for that. I used to get teased in high school, to start — words so insulting I can’t even list them here. I don’t have the fastest metabolism, to make matters worse.

I have a difficult time staying at a “healthy” weight for my height.

The hardest part isn’t that I feel like I’m fat, although that’s difficult in and of itself. The hardest part is the way that people look at, and talk about, other people who are in my position. I’m not ignorant to it. I’ve thought the same things you think.

Fat people are lazy.
Fat people are stupid.
Fat people get in the way.

I’ve spent my whole life, and a lot of my energy, trying to prove that these things aren’t true about me.

You know what I’m talking about. You’ve done it too. The lies of insecurity run so deep that they have the ability to control our entire reality. If we aren’t careful, insecurity starts to dictate everything we think and do.

How does it do that? What is it that makes insecurity so powerful? Continue Reading…

I feel like I’ve been waiting a lot lately and to be honest, I’m not even sure what I’m waiting for. It just seems that something, anything, besides what’s happening should be happening.

I keep waiting for God to do something miraculous and it’s not like I’m needing a miracle right now. It’s more so that I need less of the mundane, everyday. I need less of me and what I can produce and more of Him and what He is known for.

I want to see something. I guess what I want, if I’m being honest, is a show. I’m sitting here like some ticket holder, parked in my mezzanine seat, waiting for the Jesus Show to begin. I want to see Him do something. I want to believe in something right now.

Problem is, seeing isn’t believing… KEEP READING

I’m sure my husband is sick of it. And heck, you might be sick of it, too. And I’m sorry if this theme has become redundant, but this is where I’m at right now. This is what I’m walking through.

You see, I’m a bad friend. For all my complaining and pity-party throwing, it turns out that I’m not all I’m cracked up to be. I mean, sure, I might appear to be a super cool friendly type, but really, I could improve.

I’m a bad friend for lots of reasons…

I’m selfish. I know, jump back. I’m jealous of my time alone and all too often, I like to spend it…alone.

I don’t call. I fully intend to call. I think I’ll call. I’ll even set reminders (if I remember) on my phone to call, but more often than not, I won’t.

I won’t text, either. Or I’ll text in place of calling, which, in reality, is just as bad.

I’ll try really hard to remember your birthday. I’ll even dream up some elaborate, personal, genius gift idea, but again, I’ll most likely never get around to making it. Sorry.

I might let days, weeks, or even months go by without corresponding (see above). It’s not to say that I wasn’t thinking about you or missing you, though.

I’m lazy. In case you missed it, much of this “bad friend” list can be chalked up to laziness and the first thing I mentioned…that pesky little selfish-trait I hold.

I am a bad friend…

…But people have told me that I’m too hard on myself. Perhaps they are right. I am my own worst critic, no question. These days, it seems I magnify my flaws instead of being grateful for my strengths. I want this to change. God doesn’t walk around with a big sign listing our failures or where we need to improve. He points them out gently and kindly, but He also allows us to use our strengths for His glory. So with that being said…

I’m also a good friend…

I will always call you back. Sure, I might not have picked up the phone first, but I will always return your call and never leave you hanging.

I’ll pray for you. Whenever I tell anyone I will pray for them, I make sure to do so. Even on this blog. Even if I have to stop right then in that moment and pray, so that I won’t forget.

I’ll give you loads of praise. Yes, the birthday gift might be forgotten, but I will give you an endless supply of verbal affirmation. It’s my love language and I am fluent.

I’m fiercely loyal. This can’t be overstated. If you invest in me, I will invest in you. And once that has happened, you will have a hard time shaking me. I stick.

I’ve been told I give good advice, but even if I don’t know what to say, even if words or wisdom escape me, I will walk through your trial with you.

I’ll cook for you. Can lasagna or chocolate be another type of love language? Because I speak them well. I will cook for you because nothing says I love you like Bolognese sauce.

So there you have it. I’m a bad friend, yes, but I’m working on being better. I’m working on letting my valuable parts shine. I want to be a good friend…a better friend, and I’m getting there.

Are you a good friend or a bad friend? Why or why not? What areas do you need to improve in and where have you done well?

Original Article

Everyone, I hope you have a wonderful and very Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your families and long weekend. Rest. Eat. And most of all, be thankful.

I, for one, will be doing all of the above. Expect my return next Monday, after the long holiday. And please know: I’m thankful for you, my loyal readers.

Original Article

Today I’m writing over at the Good Women Project on Porn, Your Marriage, and Our Lackluster Sex Lives. Here’s how I begin:

They want you to believe that pornography isn’t harmful, and safe even. They want you to believe that it is somehow vastly different from actual physical adultery. They want you to believe that pornography in no way effects your sex life, except that it enhances it and makes it “sexier.” They want you to believe that porn can actually jump start a dull sex life and bring about renewed sexual desire in a marriage. They want you to believe that a husband or a wife viewing pornography will look at their spouse exactly the same way even after staring at strangers’ naked bodies. They want you to believe because they know good and well that it is all a lie, but the more of it you fall for, the better.

Read the rest…

Original Article

I heard someone say the other day how thankful we should be that we don’t serve a mean, vicious, spiteful, or angry God. We don’t serve a God of ancient Greek mythology who meddles in our lives for self-gratification or, worse, out of boredom.

No, we should be thankful because we serve a good God–a kind, generous, faithful God. I’ll admit, though, that I had never really contemplated the fact that our God could have been some other type of God. He could have been a mean, forgetful, neglectful God.

And what if He was? What if God treated us the way we treat Him? It’s not a perfect, apples-to-apples comparison, but play along anyway.

If God treated us the way we treat Him…

He would see us on Sundays for a couple of hours, but that’s about it.

He wouldn’t spend time with us when other things felt more important–work, friends, TV, a football game, kids, a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend.

He would only answer the prayers that benefit Him.

He would get hung up on our theology, doctrine, and the like, instead of actually trying to know us or have relationship with us.

His forgiveness would be conditional.

He would tell us He loves us and is crazy about us, but then, depending on who was looking, He would act like He barely knew us.

He would use our names as curse words.

He would make promises, then turn around and forget those promises a few days later.

He would ask for our forgiveness, then keep doing the same thing that hurt us in the first place.

He would keep a record of our wrongs and rights, then hold them over us as He pleased.

He would easily forget all the kind things we had done. Instead, He would doubt and question our love.

He wouldn’t stand up for our reputation. He’d let others think whatever they want about us.

He wouldn’t give freely, meaning He wouldn’t have sacrificed Himself for us.

What did I miss? If God treated you the way you treat Him, what would that entail? Comment and confess.

Original Article

Friday, sweet Friday, it felt as though you would never get here this week. And I’m so thankful you’re here now.

Can you believe that this time next week we’ll be overdosed on tryptophan and cranberries (just the way I like it). But until then, I’m holding off on entering the holiday season as long as possible. So today’s Friday Findings are holiday-free. First up…

Piccsy. How did I not know about you? You are like a long lost cousin to Pinterest, only much sexier and better looking. Oh, and British.

Piccsy represents mankind. It is all of the emotion, the beauty, the wild, the valor, the humanity, the hatred, in pictures. Crude, beautiful, delightful, whimsical, and even painful photos. It is our good ideas, our funny ideas, and our terrible ideas.

It is a montage of human life and I am hooked.

Beautiful packaging. Now maybe you’re not like me in this, but I sure do appreciate some nicely packaged product. The weirder or more clever, the better. Then I found this list of 30 Bizarre and Creative Packaging Design examples the other day and was psyched to peruse the examples shown. There is some genius to be seen.

My favorite read(s) of the week. From Theology 21, Mannequin Nipples And Erotomania: Rethinking Consumer Culture (yes, that’s really what it’s about) From The Resurgence, Homemade People, about the importance of our homes.

Young and battling cancer. You may have seen the movie 50/50 recently about a young man in his twenties diagnosed with cancer. Well, turns out my husband and I know someone who is currently facing the same thing. Billy Price a.k.a William Price III is a friend of ours and was recently diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. He is 28.

Billy loves Jesus. He trusts God and this is how much…he tweeted this last month to announce the news:

Yesterday I was diagnosed w/ Hodgkins Lymphoma. It’s a very treatable cancer. I’m feeling great & by the grace of God we’ll kick its ass.

Billy is now blogging about this turn of events. His blog isn’t all cancer talk. It is also humor, politics, love, life…Start reading. You won’t regret it.

So where did this week take you? Read anything great? Find anything new? Got any recommendation for me? Let’s hear it.

Original Article

from the archives

I attended a wedding recently. Over dinner, my husband and I sat across from a newlywed couple we know. We started in on the usual chit chat. They asked us about our kids.

During our conversation, I misheard the wife and thought she had said something about having a baby. Her husband quickly and loudly corrected me. “No! No baby! Not anytime soon!”

We all laughed. They then explained some of their “baby hesitation” to us. They had a few couple friends who became pregnant and promised that having a baby would not affect their friendships or lifestyles.

However, once babies were born, their friends slowly disappeared. No more dinners, no movies, no evening hangouts. They vanished and were sucked up in the baby vacuum swirling with car seats, burp cloths, and the dreaded suburban nightmare: the minivan!

They asked us point-blank: “What have you not been able to do since having kids?”

Jonathan, my husband, and I paused for a second and looked at one another. Then we replied in unison… “…Nothing.”

“Tell me about THAT!” the husband exclaimed.

My husband Jonathan responded by saying, “The question people should ask themselves when having children is : Are children born into your lives or are you born into theirs?” (He’s a smartie, but he stole that quote from a book called The House Church Book)

Life after kids does not need to end. Since having children, Jonathan and I have not stopped doing anything we would normally have done. We take vacations, with and without children. We see late movies. We don’t miss family functions. We both disciple other believers. We started a house church (we sound awesome, I know, right?). Yes, we have help. Our family provides countless hours of free babysitting, but we have also chosen to include our kids in what we like to do. Our kids are a welcome addition to our family, not the center of our lives.

Unfortunately, many couples have forfeited their lives after having children. I have seen and known many couples who lose themselves in their kids’ lives. They are no longer husband and wife but only mom and dad.

The order my husband and I attempt to maintain in our home is God first, marriage second, children third.

I know some moms who get all in a tizzy when they hear me say this. They assume that children should be their first priority. On some levels this is true, especially when your children are little. They do require a great deal of time, energy, attention, and energy (oh, did I say that already? ‘Cause I’m exhausted). However, marriage should be our first ministry. The strength of your marriage is what creates a safe and healthy environment for your kids.

And the reality is, kids grow up. They graduate and move out. Is your relationship with your spouse built on a solid foundation? Or is it your kids that are holding your marriage together? A romance built on changing diapers and little league is not likely to stand the test of time.

I admit it is not always easy to prioritize your marriage over your children. Nor is it easy to include your children into your life and not slip away into mommy/daddy oblivion never to be heard from again… but man is it worth it.

Do you agree or disagree? Should kids be the top priority in a marriage? How do you prioritize your marriage? Share.

Original Article